Monday, February 10, 2014

three years

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

On January 20th we celebrated three years of life in Peru (and three years since we left it all behind). I have felt a million emotions and thought a million thoughts these past few months reflecting on our time here so far. I think the overwhelming emotion, though, is thankfulness. And at the same time, I would describe our last three years as traumatic. I get choked up every time I think about what we have endured and been through, and yet I wouldn't trade these years for anything. It's a crazy paradox that we're living.

Trusting God and stepping out into a life unknown has brought our family closer than I could have ever imagined. We have grown through the pain, through the tears, through the hurt. And most importantly, we have grown closer to God. Totally cliché and totally true. I feel like my faith was reborn three years ago. I was reborn three years ago. The faith I read about in the Bible and sang about in worship songs is now my faith. I know God in entirely new ways. He called us out onto these waters, our feet failed (over and over again), and God was faithful and our faith stood. 

The following quote from Jesus Feminist by Sarah Bessey has been ringing in my head ever since I read it:

"Radical faith looks a lot like faithfulness."

As hard as it has been, we have continued to trust God and show up. Some days that means showing up at Krochet Kids, other days showing up for counseling appointments. We have shown up for school, for birthday parties, for date nights, for baby showers, for community meetings, for play dates, for friends in need, for bagging and tagging until the wee hours of the night, for intern dinners, for soccer practices, for family meetings. I can't claim that we have done anything other than be faithful. And God has met us there and carried us the rest of the way.

I can state unequivocally that we would not still be in Peru without our God and what He has done for us. Nothing of our time here is a result of what we have done, other than be faithful to what God puts in front of us each day. And seeing God respond to something as simple as that from us, has led me to fall in love with Him in new and overwhelming ways. I would follow Him anywhere. 

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

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