Sunday, February 3, 2013

repost: super bowl sunday made me cry

Watching the Super Bowl tonight reminded me of how I cried watching the Super Bowl only two years ago.  We had just moved to Peru and I was much more homesick than I ever imagined I could be.  All I wanted was to get back on a plane and return to our life in the States.  Tonight I don't feel any sadness watching the Super Bowl. In fact, I'm very content, hanging out in a hotel room with my husband with no kids, and feeling like Peru is just as much home these days as the States is home. There are many discouraging things pulling at our hearts right now that it is good to remember how far we have come!  I have so much else that I want to share on this blog (all the way back from Christmas), so I'm hoping to post frequently to catch up.  

I have to admit it: Super Bowl Sunday was my hardest day in Peru so far. I know many of you are rolling your eyes or not feeling my love for sports. Let me explain. We had been coasting along, busy with setting up house, running around in a million different directions with no time to think about what we left behind in the United States. Truly, I have rarely let myself think about our home, our neighborhood, school, friends, and family. I was basically pretending that life wasn't going on without us and that we were on more of a short term trip. It is just too painful to think about how things used to be.

So, when Super Bowl Sunday rolled around all of my emotions came to a surface. I love NFL football (a lot), but I also just enjoy the tradition of that Sunday. I love the commercials, the halftime show, and the food. I love watching a game that means everything to the players come down to the wire. I got a little depressed that day and kept thinking that I would give just about anything to be in the United States, sitting on my old couch, watching the game. Instead we were spending another day spinning our wheels, not really getting anywhere but with so many things to do we couldn't see straight (and still can't).

Finally, after running a few errands we decided we needed to get to T.G.I. Friday's to watch the game. It was a great decision even though we had to keep a 2 year old happy in a sit down restaurant for a few hours. We have raised our kids right and the 3 big kids love NFL football so they were enthralled.


During halftime was when I got all choked up. Something about watching and listening to the Black Eyed Peas. It reminded me of when Blake and I went to their concert with my sister and brother-in-law (Slash performed with Fergie then too). It was comforting to hear their songs that I love so much in a language I love so much.

It was just normal.

It is very difficult to go through an extreme life change with none of the comforts of home. The things you normally turn to for relief are no longer there. Things you never even realized you turned to for relief make themselves known.

As much I don't want to admit it, I like the way things are done in the United States. That way of life is comfortable for me. And I miss it.

I miss being able to connect with people because I can actually talk to them. I miss my van. I miss many of the foods we regularly ate and loved in the States. I miss the internet. I miss running to Target for fun. I miss knowing how to grocery shop. I miss my bed. I miss lazy Sunday afternoons on our couch. I miss tv (especially right now I would love to zone out and watch something mindless). I miss having a cell phone without prepaid minutes that are always running out. I miss Tyler having a booster seat at the dinner table. I miss the radio. I miss sending my kids to school with little to no effort. I miss fountain Coke with ice. I miss American ketchup. I miss "normal" sized toothpaste, milk, glasses. I miss our cul-de-sac and Riley having her best friend next door.

And of course we miss family and friends the most.

This is hard.

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