Wednesday, July 20, 2011

gramma

Almost two weeks ago, my gramma passed away. My gramma was in her nineties, so in many ways I was prepared to lose her, but it still happened very quickly and so I also felt unprepared. I am absolutely comforted by the fact that my gramma had a long and full life, but selfishly I wish she could have been around forever.

My gramma was an amazing woman who lived an amazing life. She lived to help people. She was defined by her compassion, honesty, courage, faithfulness, strength, and love. If I am half the woman that she was, I will be satisfied. Her passing and funeral felt like a commissioning. She isn't here anymore, so her legacy falls to her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. It is a burden that I gladly carry.

I am so inspired by my grandparents love for each other. It is hard to mourn my gramma's passing when she is now with the love of her life. She had been waiting for the day when they would be reunited. To see my grandparents still madly in love with each other was always beautiful. It didn't come easy for them and there were many issues that could have brought them down, but instead they always turned to each other and only grew stronger together. They were best friends, allies, and each other's biggest fan.

I am so thankful for all of the time that not only I had with my gramma, but also the time that Blake and my kids also had with her. Going to visit my gramma in the desert was always a time of respite for our family. We loved being there with her. The kids loved sitting around the table having lunch with her and entertaining her with their stories. I will never forget singing happy birthday to her and having cake on her 92nd birthday. It was one of my last times with her.

I will miss her support. She was always there for everyone in our family. We all knew that she cheering us on in whatever we did. I think that I took for granted how comforting her presence in our family was. Now we are sorely feeling our loss. I will miss telling her how hard it is some days to have four kids and knowing that she understands. I will miss telling her about our life in Peru and seeing the pride in her eyes. I wish that she had been able to see us launch our program and hear about the women we will be working with.

I do believe that she is now watching over all of us and I'm pretty sure that this girl is going to make her great-gramma proud.

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5 comments:

Erin said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. This is a beautiful tribute to your gramma. I'm certain she is very proud of the woman, wife, and mother you are... I can see these things just from reading your blog.

Callie said...

I thought about you when I read about it. Many people's lives have been changed by her; much like many are being changed by you and your family. As you are proud to be her granddaughter, I am sure she was proud to be your grandmother. Keep up the good work. You are in my prayers.

Callie
(JT's friend)

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my beloved grandpa last August at 90 and the hurt never seems to go away. He passed on my wedding anniversary so it will be a bittersweet reminder every year. Your grandmother was proud of you, I'm sure. And she will watch over your family in the future.
Becky P.
Wisconsin, USA

Sarah said...

Thank you guys. It is always hard to lose loved ones, no matter what the circumstances.

Tara said...

Sarah -
Followed the news and was so sad to learn of your loss. I am amazed at how honest your grandma was about things ... her generation (and the one after) was big into putting on the fake happy face, I really admire her courage. Praying for you as you process your unplanned trip to that home and get resettled in the Peru home again. Thinking of you often and remembering to pray when I see you on my fridge.
T.