Monday, July 5, 2010

girl just wants to have fun

A few weekends ago, I had a girls weekend with some friends. We went crazy and danced in a Flash Mob (see above picture). I saw In The Heights (amazing!). I ate at a sushi restaurant (but didn't eat sushi- I do have my limits). I laid out by the pool. It was the perfect mix of activity and rest.

Kristen's post has the pictures and funny stories and butt chairs. And, yes, it was that awesome.

Here's the thing- I can't remember the last time I did anything like this. And "this" means a few things. It means a girls weekend. Obviously, the main reason I haven't gotten out is because I have 4 kids and I'm not at all good about leaving them. Plus I am probably one of the most introverted people on the planet. My favorite place to be is on my couch. I don't venture far from home. This is safe and comfortable for me. And for the most part, I am really, really happy to be alone. And when I do get out it's almost always with Blake. I've been with him since I was 17 years old, he's my best friend, he understands almost everything about me, and we're really good at being together.

But what I'm realizing is that I need more. I need the kind of companionship that can only be filled by girlfriends. And this weekend was exactly that.

"This" also means having fun and doing crazy things that I normally shy away from. I initially refused to do the Flash Mob. Even though I danced for many years, it completely freaked me out. After some arm bending and advice from Blake and friends, I changed my mind. One of the best decisions I have made in a long time. It was just so fun. Pure fun. As a mom, I spend a lot of time feeling tied down and trapped. It was freeing.

And as I talked to the kids about what I was doing, I realized that I was cheating them also by letting go of my "fun" side. They loved that I was dancing. It was a side of me that they had never seen. So sad, but so true. Every night Tyler would dance with me as I practiced and I kept thinking, "It will make her a different kid to watch her mom enjoy life- even if it's just dancing."

So, I'm going to have fun more. With Blake, with girlfriends, and with my kids.

Unfortunately, when you play, you also pay. Monday was rough.

Brady stayed with my sister and brother-in-law while I was gone and now wants to live with them. He couldn't even eat breakfast, he was so heartbroken that I brought him home with me.

If I had any clue why Tyler was crying, it would have made for a very different day. She is on the floor because she threw herself on it and rolled around kicking for awhile. (And if you saw the last post, you will see that this is par for the course with her these days).

Ford was holding it together pretty well, but Tyler's incessant crying finally sent him over the edge. I could see the stress in his eyes whenever Tyler was screaming. He was running around practically throwing toys at her to try to get her to stop. At the end of the night, guilt over an accidental kick to Tyler's head (and her ensuing crying) and toothpaste on the bathroom counter did him in.

During the day, as we all struggled with re-entry and every time I questioned my decision to leave my kids, I blasted the song from our Flash Mob to remind myself that it was completely and totally worth it. The goosebumps and inspiration that fills my heart when I listen to the music from In The Heights reminds me that I am more than a mother- that I am a girl who needs to have fun.

{Disclaimer: I do not normally go around photographing my kids when they cry. I started with Brady because it was cute that he missed his aunt and uncle and then as they continued to drop, I just couldn't help myself. It was a coping mechanism.}


Melissa said...

bravo for breaking out of your comfort zone, SFG. the re-entry is always hardest the first time around. each time will be a little different, each kid will be a little older, and before you know it, their school poems about their mom will be:: my mom, she dances, she laughs, she has fun with us and has taught us how to be a good friend because she IS one.

you rock, lady!! way to have FUN with a well earned capital "FUN"!

Anonymous said...

You go girl, I loved this, now it's time for me and Big Blake to Flashmob it up, much love, Thrash

Holly Priscilla said...

hahhahaha i love the pics of your kids crying, hopefully in the most non-sadistic way...way to capture the whole affective range, for posterity's sake!

Kimi Finley said...

Sarah, I'm laughing so hard I'm crying and I just drooled, omg those pictures are SO FREAKIN FUNNY!!! I love this post!~