Thursday, November 27, 2008

not getting anywhere

Tyler's latest labs showed her bili levels to be at 19. Basically, she has been hovering at 20 since 6am yesterday morning. It is pretty much unheard of for a baby's bili to remain at 20 under such intense phototherapy. There is no explanation and no plan at this point but to wait for her next lab results.

To be honest, I am tired of waiting. I am tired of Tyler laying in a bed 24/7 and rarely being touched and held. I am tired of waiting for lab results. I am tired of pumping. I am tired of not knowing and no answers. I'm tired of worrying about if she suffered brain damage when her levels were too high. I can't stand being home without Tyler.

I was reading one of my favorite blogs, Bring the Rain, and was challenged to write down one thing that I am thankful for but not really thankful for. So, here goes...

I am thankful that Tyler is in the NICU and not at home with high bilirubin levels that they can't bring down. Please know that this is not what I just told God, but if you read Angie's post you will understand why I said it.

We're off to see Tyler...

1 comment:

stacey said...

Hi Sarah (& Blake),
Just wanted to let you know that we're thinking of all of you right now, especially brand new Tyler. I don't know if you'll find this helpful, but I was looking at this from my doula studies last night:
The early jaundice and breastmilk jaundice sections are short, but I think well-written. And the reference page is much more thorough. Pete tried calling last night and I think might call again today. Hoping things get better fast.
love, Stacey